Practicing Thankfulness

In light of the recent events at the hospital, I don't think I have to tell you that I have not been eager to return. Each weekend I wrestle, thinking of reasons why I should go, immediately followed by reasons why I shouldn't have to. It rained heavily the entire day before a recent trip in, and I actually thought, "Maybe the road will wash out and I won't have to go." Wow. Well, the road didn't wash out so I put on my skirt, packed my bag, and headed to the hospital.

It was a quiet day which wreaked havoc on my mind and heart. I was eager to be busy and fill the time, but with only two laboring mamas, one of which was knocked out on pain meds, there was little to do. I milled around for a bit before deciding that I had better get out of there. I walked over to the post-natal ward to see if my friend was working. She wasn't, so I wandered outside. I prayed as I walked. 

"Lord, this is hard. I don't want to be here, and feeling like this makes me even more sad! My heart is just tired." 

As I prayed, the Holy Spirit said, "What here is good? What things are going well? Can you thank me for my gifts and the things that bring joy?"

So I began. I thanked the Lord. At first, it was the material things within view of where I was standing. Over time, the thankfulness spread to people, ideas, truths, and the gifts that you cannot hold in your hands or wrap your arms around. I've compiled the list here for you to read. God's gifts come in many forms. 

1) Gloves. I'll touch anything with gloves! And germ protection is paramount.

2) Trash cans. What would we do if there wasn't a place to put rubbish? It would be nasty.

3) Shoes. Walking barefoot in gunk is gross.

4) An unclogged sink. As often as the toilet clogs, the sink never has.

5) Alcohol hand sanitizer. Surprised it's available? Me too.

6) Gauze. We use this stuff for everything. It comes in giant rolls that we cut and rewrap in shorter lengths. The supply seems never-ending.

7) A mop bucket. There was a time when I rung dirty water from the mop by hand. I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to use a functioning, ringing mop bucket.

8) A mop. Cleaning the floors standing upright is a no-brainer.

9) Beds. Until you've delivered a baby on the floor, you cannot fully appreciate this luxury.

10) Four walls and a roof. Bear with me. Many have labored in worse places.

11) IV fluids. This is a game changer for so many women. Seriously, life-saving.

12) Clean needles. No questions about where they've been or what pathogens they carry.

13) Curtains. Shower curtains, but a bit of privacy nonetheless.

14) An infant warmer. A new one too! Keepin' those babes warm is essential.

15) A vacuum extractor. As terrifying as this contraption is, I've seen it rescue many babies.

16) A blood pressure cuff. Obviously.

17) A thermometer. No need to explain.

18) A pinard. The rather old-fashioned way of listening to the baby's heartbeat. Doesn't require batteries and can be tucked into any pocket, fanny pack, or teased fro.

19) Buckets. They catch fluids and carry stuff.

20) The bathroom door. Don't roll your eyes. Have you thanked the Lord for the bathroom door?

21) Water. Sometimes there isn't any water, but those days are fewer in number than the days we do have water.

22) Electricity. Also hit and miss. But really, how often is electricity needed to bring a baby into the world?

23) Windows. They're open 24/7. I can imagine a hot, stuffy labour ward would be miserable. 

24) Rain. Cools the air and provides a conversation starter.

25) Tape. Tape to hold the IV. Tape to label the health book. Tape to hold the eyelids closed. Tape to hold the cupboard open. Tape to cover the sore on one's foot. Tape to keep one's shoes from falling apart.

26) Pitocin tablets. They're not swallowed. I'll leave it there. For the woman who is hemorrhaging, these will save her life.

27) Hot tea. A staple beverage that warms mamas and provides post-labour fluids and sugar.

28) Tongue depressors. Not used to depress tongues, but to stir tea!

29) Cord clamps. Because dental floss isn't always available. *wink wink*

30) Newborn shots and eye ointment. There's no such thing as herd immunity here.

31) Laughter. A common language that connects people across cultural divides.

32) Hand gestures. When words are inadequate, a few well-placed hand gestures will do the trick.

33) A c-section. I'm thankful that, however long it takes to get one, a c-section is still an option here.

34) The collective knowledge of the hospital staff. 

35) The midwives. These dear ladies see so much. Their hearts are seared by experiences unimaginable, but they still provide care. Sometimes that care doesn't look the way I think it should, but then I remember that they are working long hours in a tough environment with limited supplies, little support, and often no pay.

36) The surgeons. They too work long hours, and for little thanks.

37) The mamas. Whether experienced laborers, or first baby newbies, they need compassion and care, and they teach me something new every day I'm with them.

38) Family. It's unusual to find a patient alone outside of the labour ward. Most are watched over by a sister, brother, mama, or papa. Or by something I have been, a "watch mama." Someone who isn't family, but who cares deeply. 

39) Life! New babies are miraculous; every organ developed to sustain life in such a little person. When I stop to think about all that could go wrong, I'm astounded at how often it goes right.

40) God's continual presence. Imagine the world without His presence. I can't.

41) God's assurance that He has won the victory over sin and death! Glorious hope!

42) The knowledge that all people and things are seen and thoroughly known by their Creator God. 

43) A place free of civil war and persecution. There are difficulties, but I've never feared for my life. What a gift.

44) Openness to the Gospel. No one tells me that I have to keep the Truth to myself, or that it's unlawful to talk about the Hope that I have.

For about an hour, I walked in circles around the corridors of the hospital thanking the Father for everything I could think of. It didn't come easily at first, but it's amazing what this exercise did for my heart. It brought my focus back around to the hope-filled truths and joys of things right in front of me. It didn't negate the hardship, but instead, put it in its place. Subject under Christ. 

"There is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours. All the nations you have made shall come and worship before you, O Lord, and shall glorify your name. For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God."  {Psalm 86:8-10}