I went to the ward alone this past weekend. I normally go with one other but no one was available so I decided to brave the adventures el numero uno. Being that I live in a third world country and don't have a drivers license (nor do I want one), I had to find someone to give me a ride into town. If I could digress a moment and mention that Western culture stresses independence so strongly - the importance of a person to know themselves and act as an individual. Well I'll tell you what, I used some of that independence to get here but then lost a lot when I moved into this fenced-in compound. All that to say, it's ALWAYS nice to get out!
I participated in three labors during my 8 hours in the ward. I think that sweet moment of delivery is the best part and because I was the lone doula, I got to move from one best part to the next without feeling like I was hogging all the fun!
All three babies were strong, healthy boys and the first two were delivered after beautiful labors. The third looked a little bit different... Through most of this mama's labor, she was like a focused athlete and was in this terrific rhythm with her breathing and her swaying with each contraction. I watched in awe as she performed instinctively with little to no help from me! She'd close her eyes, moan in low tones and refuse to even sit down. Her exhaustion was starting to catch up with her because more than once her legs buckled and I had to catch her.
And then came transition. Imagine the growl of a grizzly bear crossed with the war cry of Attila the Hun. Yup. The transformation was startling but mama had shown such focus and endurance, I figured we were good. I think, as it happens with lots of ladies, she became overwhelmed by the speed and intensity of her contractions and then she lost it. She began throwing her arms in the air and groping around for some invisible something, perhaps to draw her focus. Problem was, she had her eyes closed so each time she flung her arms, I had to duck and dodge out of the way! Sometimes I would put myself in the way and let her find me with her arms hoping that she would hold onto me because remember, she's been standing for hours now and is literally teetering. She would accept my help half of the time but if I moved, even just to get her water or go to the other side of the bed, she would open her eyes and clutch at my arm.
Whelp, then mama squatted and peed on the floor right by her bed and in her weak attempt to stand, she slipped in it and I caught her... The adventures went on and on. When the midwife came to check on her she had already been pushing for a bit. We got her up on the bed and again, I moved a little, trying to stay out from under foot but mama found the soft (too soft) part of my upper arm and worked it over like she was making meat loaf. It was all I could do not to cry out - it hurt so bad!
She eventually delivered but with a LOT of coaching from midwives and me. She seemed to lose the will to have her baby naturally and kept asking for a c-section so her pushing was half-hearted and not very productive.
All of us were exhausted when it was all over. Two things I learned from this day: First, labor is unpredictable, as are the women I work with. What starts out as a beautiful example of physiology and mental will-power working in unison can quickly turn south so be prepared to change your game plan and figure out what works. Sometimes, you don't get to DO anything but be present and available. AND second... Pay for the darn gym membership. Work on those muscles because you're going to need them.
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