Well, Hello There!

I saw something today that will forever be burned into my memory. Something so startling and so hilarious; I've been reliving the moment in my mind all afternoon. It's still cracking me 
up.

I was working with a mama this morning, fully absorbed in her and her labor, when a very obviously pregnant woman wandered by. She was carrying all of her bags and looked a little lost. A midwife abruptly stopped her.

Midwife: "What are you doing in here?! Who are you?"

(unintelligible mumbling from the stranger woman)

Midwife: "You can't be here! What do you think we're doing in here, just relaxing? No! We're taking care of sick people. Go back out and wait until you're checked in!"

I gave the poor woman an apologetic look and then turned back to the mama who had been checked in and was on the approved guest list. 

Not three minutes later, I heard the screams of a new infant. I knew none of the women in the room were anywhere near the point of producing a little person to cry like that so I poked my head around the corner, bewildered. Behold, on the floor, lying in a puddle of blood and amniotic fluid and flailing her limbs was a slippery, new baby girl, still connected to her placenta and wearing her mama's underwear like a hat. Her mother was being assisted into the bed by another midwife while the surprise baby screamed and thrashed on the cold labour ward floor.

Okay. Rewind for a moment.

First, wouldn't you wander through the Labour Ward looking for help if your baby was that close?? Yes you would. In fact, you would probably be shouting your arrival, having left your belongings with a distraught relative in the hallway.

Second, if you were to be so rudely stopped by a cranky, no doubt sleep-deprived midwife, wouldn't you say something like, "Hey, my baby's about to fall out."? Yes, I'm pretty sure you would! And if you got any lip, you'd say something forceful and half-crazed to convince whoever was around to let you stay and deliver your baby is a semi-respectable way. You know, like in a bed. 

And lastly, if a woman came wandering waddling through your ward, clutching her skirt and looking mildly panicked, wouldn't you ask more questions? I hope so! You'd at least offer her a chair or maybe a cold beverage on a good day.

Fast forward to cold floor/screaming baby. I rushed over just as the midwife bent down and scooped up our girl and put her on her mama's chest. The cord was cut and she was freed from the placenta that practically chased her out of the womb. All was well.

Classically, the mother was up and washing and thereafter asked to free up the bed only an hour or so after the delivery. The midwife who helped her was clearly a little rattled and kept saying, "Eiyo..." (translated: "whoa" or "holy cow" or "what in the sam hill")

The baby has a beautifully shaped head and was given a proper hat to replace the other one...