Baby by Vacuum?

Two words: Vacuum Extractor. Sound scary? Well it is. At least I think so. 

I had heard about this contraption and had even seen it sitting on its shiny metal cart, tucked away against the wall just waiting for its next victim. But I had never seen it in use...until this weekend.

Just the word "extract" sounds unnatural and painful - like what happens at the dentist when you have to get a tooth pulled. Or the machine in the Princess Bride that sucks the life out of people.

Well it is unnatural and it's the method by which the doctor "extracts" a baby who is stuck (for lack of a better word). I had visions of horrific events that precipitated the vacuum extractor's use and my overly active imagination was checked because I got to witness this first-hand just the other day and it wasn't the torture I had anticipated.

The mama in question had fully dilated but didn't have the urge to push. The baby's heart rate was climbing and it was in distress. The one doctor who was currently in the hospital and qualified to perform the extraction was finishing a C-section and wasn't available right away. 

Welp, that leaves one, very uncomfortable and increasingly more fearful mama and myself, the new doula, trying to keep mama at peace and somewhat comfortable while attempting to track what's happening as hospital staff communicate at warp speed in a foreign language.

Eventually the doctor arrived clad in rubber rain boots and a giant rubber apron. He opened a sterile tray and pulled out a metal cup-shaped device, about 3 inches across, with a little chain attached. Honestly, my first thought was, "Oh that looks like the thing that expresso grounds are packed into when you make those fancy lattes!" Leave it to me to be thinking about coffee at a time like that.

The doc put some cream into the metal cup, I assume to create a vacuum, and then put it up inside the mama and right onto the the baby's vertex. Then they plugged the contraption in, turned the suction on and told mama to push with her next contraction, whether she felt the urge or not. 

What was interesting (and hurt just to watch) was when the doctor put a pair of hemostats through the chain and pulled! *insert shudder*  Between the vacuum suction, the doctor pulling and the mama's contractions, out came a huge baby girl! 

This was a 41-week, first baby, born to a petite woman via vacuum extractor so she tore horribly and it took the nurse over an hour to get her stitched up. 

On the bright side, the baby was healthy and the mama was trying to hobble out to see family shortly thereafter. Have I mentioned how resilient these women are? 

So, thus ends my first experience with The Extractor. However unusual and painful it was, it turned out to be far less dramatic than my imagination had made it out to be. 

So glad. So very glad.